sketch bysusanlin

Lately, I’ve been frustrated with myself, mostly over nothing.

When you were graduating high school, you felt like the shit: getting into a college, preparing to leave home, embarking on a new adventure. Then, once arriving, it quickly becomes clear you are, once again, at the bottom of the food chain.

“What the fuck am I doing? I don’t know what I’m doing.”

That’s the sentiment.

It takes time to figure out how to manage college life. Pick the right classes. Eat and sleep just enough to get by. Capitalize on this freedom while still not sinking.

And, by the time college senior year rolls around, you were once again the shit. Your resume plump and perfected after many iterations. Your class schedule awesome, sleeping in to the minute becomes an easy science. Then you get a job.

Now, I am there at the beginning of the job phase. And sometimes, I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing, once again, thrusted from the high throne to the lower ranks.

If it were illustrated via flowchart, it might be like this.

I find that this is how I progress in picking up skills: the beginning is always the hardest. And then there’s a moment where I figure out that one stupidly silly thing which was hampering me all along.. [1]

I wrote this as a reminder to myself that it takes time to learn the ropes, get the hang of everything, optimize for success in every period of one’s life. I should really stop beating myself up for things like not knowing how insurance works and being unable to effectively squeeze in side project time. Also, just to admit it. I think this blogsketchthing has too much gratuitous advice wrapped in anecdotes. I am human too.

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1. This - Stop Doing Stupid Shit.